1. Zwei II
I've seen a few variations of this. Note to game developers, "Zwei" means "Two" as in the number. Two. II. "2". So if you make a game called that, don't call the sequel "Zwei II" So it's twice the twoness? Part two of two? What the fuck is even going on here. There's a few other games that use titles very similar to this, but this is the most basic one.
2. Rap Jam Vol. 1
So someone came up with the idea of a game where you play as several rappers and they play basketball. And they tack "Vol. 1" on the end as if there'd ever be a sequel. Unfortunately for none, we will never see Vol. 2 of the game where you can make Coolio dunk over Queen Latifah.
3. Riven: The Sequel to Myst
Not that I'm against a sequel to Myst, but if you have to put "The Sequel to Myst" in the title, maybe you should have just fucking called it Myst II. Especially that they called the next game Myst III. Please either number the games or don't, make up your fucking minds.
4. Star Trek: Strategic Operations Simulator
Sure that's an easy title to remember. I don't mind the title as much as the fact that it doesn't fit the game. Star Trek: Strategic Operations Simulator is neither a simulator nor is it strategic. It's a pretty basic shooting game. But hell, it is Star Trek, so at least they got that part of the title right.
5. Final Fantasy X-2
This one just fucking boggles my mind. You have a series that is numbered, though none of them are sequels to anything else. So they for some reason decided that Final Fantasy X really needed a direct sequel and since Final Fantasy XI was busy being an ill-conceived MMO, they came up with this. But the title? Final Fantasy X-2? Either use roman numerals or not, don't fucking use both. In this case, since the numbers in the series don't mean anything couldn't they call it something like Final Fantasy X: Yuna Fucking Does Shit? Who knows...
6. Kiwi Kraze
I happen to like this underappreciated NES game, but to be honest the title has always thrown me. Kiwi Kraze? First of all, the bird you play as doesn't really look like a Kiwi, and I don't understand how that's better than the game's original title "The New Zealand Story". Then there's the whole "Kraze" thing. I hate that "spelling shit with a K for no real reason." Mortal Kombat does this for no reason...though at least this game has alliteration on it's side. But what if I'm not really crazy about kiwis? I mean they're okay, but meh. I'm sort of ambivalent about Kiwis.
7. Mortal Kombat
Oh yeah, this fucking thing. Why is it spelled with a K anyway, is Mortal Combat weaker looking? Did they think they were being hip and trendy? At least Kiwi Kraze up there has alliteration, but what does this title have going for it? And don't get me started on "Kombatants" and all that bullshit.
8. Street Fighter EX +a
Okay, the Street Fighter games have a history of long and convoluted titles with lots of shit added in there. But this one is just weird. The original arcade game is Street Fighter EX. Usually in gaming, EX means Extra, but what's with this? It's just a sort of 3D version of Street Fighter. They could have called it Street Fighter 3D. They add the "+" or "plus" for an updated version. Okay fine, that's addition, they added shit. But then when the game hits playstation it gets that retarded little "a" at the end, as in "alpha". So it's "Street Fighter EX Plus Alpha". What, they added alpha? It doesn't have anything to do with Street Fighter Alpha and they don't spell it out, so what the fuck? The world may never know.
9. Samurai Shodown 64
Don't get me started, I fucking love this series, and I'll never understand why it's "Shodown" and not "Showdown". But I digress, that's not why SS64 is on my list. It's the whole "64" thing. Guess what, it's not on the Nintendo 64. And it's not like SNK had this idea first. In a gaming market where almost everything on the N64 has "64" in the title, this is a really REALLY weird choice for a title.
10. Awesome Possum Kicks Doctor Machino's Butt
Never have I seen a title where there's so much fail clustered in. Firstly, you gave away the ending. He kicks Doctor Machino's Butt. I guess the only reason to play it then would be the amazing game play. Oh wait. It's about the worst game ever to grace the Genesis. Also, if you're gonna blatantly rip off sonic, give me something better than changing "Robotnik" to "Machino" They didn't even try. And what's so awesome about this little twerp? The fact that he's awesomely irritating and that it feels awesome to hit his game with a hammer? And the whole "Butt" part is fucking retarded. It's like something a six year old would come up with.
I can't let this go with mere text, it's fucking macro time.
hahahahaha FAIL, nice!
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